stand by me
What constitutes a one-night-stand? Does it have to strictly be 'one-night' only? Whats if there's one or more casual encounters? And a couple of phone calls in-between? Nothing mushy. Just pleasant conversation. I hate to have to use the term for such an experience. It almost seems derogatory.Maybe 'Close encounters of the third kind'? Don't ask me what the first and second are.
more grievances
I hate what's become of the Indian Newspaper Industry. The rot has intensified ever since The Times of India was sold to a business family that would mortgage their fingernails if they got a good quote. There are full page advertisement spreads on the front page! Imagine waking up to DLF Housing instead of Another septuagenarian president(that's another crazy one i can't explain). When i was a young boy, I was encouraged to read the paper. "It'll help you think and build stong character", they said. Yeah right.All this, when number of pages has been on the rise constantly. What are they filling the pages up with, I wonder. And despite the increase in the number of dailies, the readership for most has been on a constant rise. Is the common man obsessed with banality? There's more verbiage in the papers than most educated readers can digest. But what's the alternative? Every new daily promises 'thought-provoking' and delivers trash. Oh! What's with the use of puns in headlines? Sample these:Nadal baits Fish with easePhonetastic CherylSomething's 'fishy' in designer bagsAll this in one day! If i read the headline that goes 'Sen'sation one more time, I swear I'm gonna rip the paper to shreds. They use it freely for anyone from Sushmita to Amartya. There's one saving grace, though. Thankfully, the editorial page on the Sunday Times has been untouched. Should any of these 'cosmetic' changes affect my weekly dose of good information, I promise, I will resort to arson.
irony
Is M&M's short for something?
We are all guilty of it. Me, as much as the next person. When in doubt, we abbreviate. Acronyms are as much a part of our lives as BLT. This practise is as recent as the 20th century. And like all things new, I hate it. O.K. I'm not entirely anti-acronyms. A little discretion is all i ask for. I can't imagine the bard writing, "TBONTB. That is the question."The advent of the internet and instant messaging has further derailed the train of good writing. What with 'btw' and 'omg' appearing more often than 'apropos' and 'hypothically'. In India, they refer to messaging on mobile phones as SMS("I'll SMS you" or "send me an SMS"). SMS stands for short messaging service. How the bloody hell does one send someone a service via a cellular phone? And saying the whole thing is so time-consuming! Who's going to pollute the world if we waste all our time saying complete words? This morning, I was sipping on my morning coffee and reading my newspaper, when it jumped out at me. Front page. Bottom right hand corner. A quarter page insert. IBS. I was just about to cackle(I don't normally cackle but some situations demand a little more out of you), wondering which proctologist was advertising in the front page, when i saw that it was an ad. for a Business school. Is irritable bowel syndrome not as popular in India as in the U.S? Would you go to a school called Hernia? I know i wouldn't.
