Monday, April 30, 2007

pieces of me

"Everytime you go away...you take a piece of me with you...", the system blared at 9 a.m in the morning. Circa 1998. City: Pune, India. It was the morning after the last of our engineering exams. Still to early for me. Too much champagne and vodka from the night before. But my friend was relentless. It was about the tenth time on repeat, that i sat up and started listening. We heard it together for another ten-or-so times. Singing along, wherever we could. That was my introduction.

That song has always been on my list of all-time-favourites, though i didn't understand the feeling. I often joked about being severely handicapped from the number of times she'd gone away. And so many "she's".

I think i get it now. I was talking to a friend yesterday after this buddy of mine had left for the U.S, after a month-long visit. Sometime during the conversation i got thinking. And it hit me like a bolt of lightning.
I have this small circle of friends. There's five of us. All childhood chums. We're like soul-mates in some sense. Three guys are in the U.S. Whenever one of them visits, the parting is always bitter-sweet. Like a part of me has been lost. And I've had to endure it twice in the past couple of months. Damn you, boka and daddu!

Paul Young, I now understand.
One small question, though. How many more parts do I have to lose before I cease to recognise the person in the mirror?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

walking the line


"Let's go on a trek", I said suddenly. My pal, Anil, had suggested we do something fun the past weekend. And just like that, we had a plan. Only the three of us, Anil, me and voodoo(my Labrador retriever). It was to be a day trip. The venue: Rajmachi fort. About 20 kilometres from Lonavla (a little hamlet 95 kilometres from mumbai).

So there we were. Miles away from civilisation. The great escape. Mine, from mundane work-related chores. Anil's, from all the craziness in his life the past couple of months. And voodoo's from a lifetime of lethargy caused by staying couped-up in a small apartment for most of the day. We marched along, happy, feerless and unmindful of the scorching heat. We didn't have the slightest clue of what the day had in store for us.

And what a day it was. This is the sequence of events as clearly as I can remember them. My mind's still a little blurry. We tried climbing an almost-sheer rock face (failed miserably). We were hopelessly lost after about 4 hours in the sun(and several rest stops). We were running short on water and took one risky decision. It paid off. We found a village, stocked up on water. Ate a bit. I realised i didn't have my wallet with me at this point. Voodoo, however, got some much-needed rest. He, surprisingly, was tiring much sooner than us. He, then, sprained his front leg and decided he would go no further.(thankfully we were on our way back, by now). We tried carrying him on a temporary stretcher made of a towel. Bad idea. So much for being boy-scouts. Then I thought I would be He-man and tried carrying the bugger. Did about 200 metres before i gave that idea up. Then decided to trek back down and drive up through the rugged terrain.(I drive a 10-year-old 'Maruti-800' a compact 800 cc car made only for city driving.)

So here I was, trekking back, all by myself (Anil was keeping voodoo company. I still don’t know what transpired between them. But voodoo’s not been the same since). I was worried that my car wouldn't be where I'd left it. Or maybe I'd have a flat from driving through notorious trails. Maybe, my wallet wouldn't be in the car. Half-walking. Half-running. It all turned out o.k in the end. The car was where i'd left it. All tyres intact. Wallet guffawing at me from the dash.

So much activity. Yet, so effortless. No worldly worries. All was forgotten. No negative thoughts. No responsibilities. Just the simple pleasures. Man against mother nature. Actually, man and mother nature. Pausing to smell the flowers. Literally. Eating wild fruit(inedible). Joking about the near-sightedness of this good-samaritan who'd posted paper signs showing the way to the fort (It rains 4 months of the year in these parts!). Eating the simple yet tasty food that the villagers had to offer. Walking. Talking.Laughing. Living. Not just surviving.

We had a couple of beers when we got back to civilisation. There are a couple of reasons we did this. One was to celebrate the end of a successful trek. (We didn't succeed in conquering the fort, though. We'll just have to fight that battle another day.) The other was that the beers helped ease the pain of returning to the routines we call lives.
Why can't the rest of my life be more like that trek?

Sunday, April 22, 2007

how's your net working?

My friend in dubai called me up the other day and began a tirade about networking sites (which are now the second-largest contributors to wasted work-hours - the first being e-mailing)..
he said.. "who thinks up the names for these sites?.. somebody asked me if i was on orkut..and i thought he was talking about some planet on the hitchhikers guide.." i laughed..
He went on.."there's only one networking site that any self-respecting man can be a part of .. please join goodreads.com "... I promptly signed up.
I didnt have the heart to tell him i was a member on orkut and hi-5. i have also been tagged, linkedIn, bitch-slapped and whatever else the internet has ordained for me.

I don't know what it is about these networking sites.. most people say they're a miracle.. and they have been reunited with friends from over a decade back.. i have one question..do you seriously believe you would let go of that friend if he/she was that important?.. and are you going to stay in touch with him/her for the rest of your life?..now that you're both orkutting (or whatever else they call it)

One friend of mine has his "networking-strategy" worked out..he treats them as dating sites..he says.."oh! the women on this site have too much attitude..they're much nicer on the other one..try it..the days of internet dating are far from over..."
they never really took off for me! i wouldn't be caught dead asking a stranger to "make friendship" with me.

Hey tamara (my long-lost pen-friend).. are you reading this?.. send me a scrap..or a five..
heck!!..call me!!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

ode to me

i love this poem..i wish it could be my epitaph..

stop the Clocks - w.h auden

Stop all the clocks,cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


p.s mike newell, thank you.